Fall 09

Fall is definitely in the air here. It's been beautiful weather between 60 and 70 degrees each day and the fall colors are gorgeous. Each year the trees not only in our yard, but here in Eagle, grow taller and fuller and the fall show of reds, yellows and oranges are eye candy. The wind was blowing a little bit today and I could see many of the leaves starting to fall from their limbs and it makes me sad, but for now I will go out of my way to drive down the streets that are lined with wonderful colors.

An update on our Samoan phone calls: I got about 2 more calls from Asega, each time I was able to understand a bit more. Then one day I got a call and she said, after a short hello: I need money for my family. The phone call was cut short, most likely her phone calling card ran out. Then after about another 15 minutes, she called again and said, I need help. I need help for my family, I have many people in my family. I have my mother and sister and brother-in-law and children. I need help. Sadly I had to tell Asega, I have many people in my family too. No money, just letters and pictures. I repeated this a couple times so there would be no question. It was very hard to say no, but after much thought (I knew this phone call would come some day) and talking with Paula Young and Harold between phone calls, I realized sending money even just one time could be very detrimental and would compromise our relationship and I knew there would be further requests perhaps even from several other family members. So I needed to be firm with this first request. I immediately afterwards put together a letter with updated pictures and sent it in the mail. I now know how much the letters and pictures mean to them, so I will try to be very faithful about getting those out to them regularly. I haven't heard anything from them since that last phone call about one month ago.

About 3 1/2 weeks ago, as we were getting ready for a short trip to Utah, just as we were getting ready to leave, I went to go get the dogs to put them in the car so we could take them to the kennel. But Barkley was no where to be found. He's 14 years old now, blind, deaf, tired and sore. He doesn't usually go very far from his couch in the piano room. Harold and I looked all over the house and in the yard. I went to the girls' schools to take them out and brought them back home to help join in the search. We got in the cars and searched the neighborhoods and spent about 3 hours looking for him when we finally had to make the decision to leave without him. I cried for the first hour of our trip knowing that he was somewhere, alone and not able to find his way home.

Two days later we got a call from a man telling us he had seen Barkley in his backyard, looked on his collar and found our number. Since we were still in Utah, we called our friend Mel Hugentobler and asked if he would go to this man's house and see if he could find Barkley. The man said that he had to leave and go to work. But Mel searched for 2 hours and was unable to find Barkley anywhere. I couldn't believe that the man who had found him, taken the time to look on his collar and get our number hadn't even tied him up so that we could come get him. He said he could tell he was older and having trouble. We were so hopeful at first with this phone call, but as time passed, the hope faded.
The next morning was Sunday, and as I was waking up, I heard the words in my mind, "He is dead." There was a part of me that was relieved to know he wasn't suffering somewhere, but I also became very sad. I didn't know it would feel so bad to lose a pet, but they truly do become part of your family, part of your memories, a big part of our lives in South Carolina.
When we got home the girls and I posted pictures of him in our area just in case. We received some calls from nice people who said they would be looking. It was nice to know there are such nice people out there. As we drive through the area, we still look around for him out of habit, but we definitely miss him.

One last tender mercy: Last night we had family night. Harold had to work at Mtn. Home-a 24 hour shift which is where he works now. Kristina was home, but she was just barely getting over the swine flu which had wiped her out for the last several days. So she was in the room, but I let her just lay on the couch and rest while I mainly spoke to the little girls. During the day I spent much of my time re-doing our family tree circle which had started to fade from being in the sun. Then I took it to the copy center and had 6 copies made for each of the kids. I had done so much work on it, there was no way I wanted to lose what I'd done again so I knew I had to preserve it somehow. So I was full of the spirit of Elijah and decided to tell some stories about my mom's side of the family. I started back in the 1700's with the Hawkes family relating some of the stories, each generation having more detail. I was trying to make the point of how wonderful family is. I told some of my mom's cute stories of her youth along with some from Uncle Bill. The girls thought they were pretty funny. I showed them Grandpa Jean Hawkes' missionary farewell program cover and some letters he had written. Then I shared a page from my own journal from 1995, a story about Alex when he was just 3 1/2 and how after our nightly prayers, he apologized for breaking Kirk's light. In the same entry I talked about a miscarriage I had had also. I then explained to the girls that some day their great great grandchildren would read stories about them and see pictures and want to know about their lives and maybe even one little girl would say, "Is that where I got my black eyes and my beautiful brown skin? From my great great grandma Leah"(then I said something similar about Nikki) Both Leah and Nikki thought this would be the most exciting thing. The girls were fascinated and had many questions about everything. Then after I finished with my testimony about family and journal keeping, both Leah and Nikki said "This was the best family night ever!" They were so happy and so genuinely excited and full of joy. I didn't even know that this would effect them so strongly and I, once again, had my own testimony of family home evenings solidified. They are such a struggle sometimes, as I try to keep their attention, etc. but in the end I always have such a great feeling and I am so grateful I have this one night a week to share my testimony with my children. A truly inspired revelation from a prophet of God. People who don't take the time to have family night don't know what a powerful blessing they are missing in their families.